


Reasons To Live

by LadyForestshade



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-20 13:45:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18127007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyForestshade/pseuds/LadyForestshade
Summary: It's been a year since the event destroyed everything, but they're finding ways to pull through. (This is an AU loosely based on the game I Am Alive)





	Reasons To Live

“One, two, three…” Naoto counted as she flipped through her backpack’s main compartment. The plastic of packaged food and water bottles crinkled as she fished out a granola bar and placed it on the table. “And four. Shit, it’s not much is it...” She said, placing her hands on her hips.

Along with the granola bar was a hefty can of nut mix, a sealed bag of jerky, and canned beans. Not counting the nearly empty 32oz canteen she had clipped to the back of her belt, only two water bottles remained. Naoto placed a hand over her stomach. She wasn’t particularly hungry after rifling through all the supplies she found over the past few days, and saving more nourishing food items took top priority.

So she took the granola bar and placed the rest back in the bag. Flipping open her knife, she scratched a deep tally on the wooden table. “Five days stuck at the other side of this crevice,” she said and unwrapped her breakfast, tossing the wrapper aside in the already littered apartment complex.

It crumbled like sandpaper–sandpaper drizzled with dry honey, collecting like sawdust in her mouth. Naoto grabbed for the canteen on her belt and took a swig of what was left. The clutter washed down her throat and she wiped her mouth with a sigh.  “That takes it back to three,” she said, stepping out of the flat and onto the balcony.

– _“I can see you, you know. I still think it’s an awful setup,”_ came a static voice from the radio attached to her bag.

Switching the radio to openly receive her voice, Naoto said, “Nonsense. The building is still standing, and the sun hits it perfectly,” She extended a finger to prod at the plastic bag wrapped tightly over the leaves of a relatively healthy potted plant. “Plus, I like heights… you know that.”

A combination of foliage and sunlight over the past few days created enough moisture to fill the plastic bag with some drinkable water. She undid the twist tie holding it to the plant limb and tilted it carefully to replenish her canteen. Stowing away the empty bag, she grabbed the binoculars sitting on the balcony edge. The eye cups engulfed her sight and magnified it as she twisted the diopter settings, “I also get a perfect view of everything from here.”

– _“Hey, you spying on me Naoto?”_

“Maybe.” Naoto smirked and adjusted her sights to center on the woman from across the rift. Copper-brown hair glowed like earthy fire in the early morning sunlight. Ironically, she was situated high in a building as well. “You look absolutely beautiful this morning, Rise.”

– _“Thanks and you look like crap.”_ Rise said, pinching her nose from behind the window, _“Like you smell and could use a shower.”_

“Well if I weren’t stuck over here I wouldn’t have this conundrum now would I?” She lowered the binoculars briefly to scan the scene with a broader lens. A crevice divided the east and west city, that much she knew, but a large plume of dust obscured the rest of the details, such as how deep the fissure ran. What remained of the streets below were impossible to see, made it impossible to breathe if she attempted to traverse it. That’s why she climbed high to cleaner air in the first place.

If Rise hadn’t journeyed to the level she found herself at, Naoto wouldn’t have been able to spot her past the dust cloud. “How long has it been since the Event?” Naoto asked.

– _“Over a year now,”_ said Rise.

She fell silent and Naoto lowered her binoculars to spare herself the heartache of seeing Rise’s pain. “I’m... sorry for asking. I just didn’t know it’s been just a year. Feels much longer than that.”

No one seemed to have the answers to the apocalyptic catastrophe called the Event. Terrible earthquakes, floods, and a tsunami destroyed much of Japan and the aftershocks never stopped. Naoto and Rise were on the way to a reunion with Yu and the others when the Event started. The roads crumbled away and they never made it out. Never got to find out what happened to the others in Inaba.

– _“Don’t be sorry. We all lost people when the earthquakes destroyed everything,”_ said Rise, _“It’s happened everywhere from what I’ve heard. America, Europe, mainland Asia.”_

“Still you’d think the government would be able to send better aid than just supply drops,” said Naoto, stowing away the binoculars.

– _“Well can you blame them? They tried to maintain order but only ended up with soldiers deserting them or the people they were trying to save turning hostile.”_

“That boat that left the shore three months ago? I think that may have been the last evacuation.”

– _“God, shut up Naoto. I don’t even want to think about being stranded here,”_ said Rise with a hint of agitation, _“We’ve been here so long I almost don’t want to leave... we’re not so different from everyone else.”_

“Except you and I don’t go around killing, stealing, or raping the less fortunate…” Naoto pulled the straps on her backpack until it was high and tight against her back. She buckled on the chest strap and waved to Rise across the way, “I’m going to see if I can find a way across. The dust has settled, at least a bit, so it’s worth a try.”

– _“Are you sure? What if there’s another quake?”_

Scanning each winding road and calculating the distance between the building and the edge of the dust cloud, Naoto simply shrugged, “I’ll find shelter somewhere?”

– _“They say confidence is more reassuring.”_

“I _will_ find shelter if a quake happens,” Naoto reiterated, “Besides I’ll probably starve faster than I suffocate if I stay over here. Who knew a supply run would end up with me eating everything I found? I’m sorry, Rise.”

– _“Don’t apologize for that. We still have plenty of food over here. I’m just happy you’re alive,”_ said Rise with a softness that put her at ease, _“Be careful out there okay?”_

“I will. Switching off to save batteries,” she said, checking her watch. It likely didn’t have the right time anymore, but it still ticked as the seconds passed. “I’ll check in an hour from now.”

– _“Then I’ll keep an eye on the clock. See you soon hopefully.”_

Lowering her eyes to the enormous, discouraging cloud, Naoto said, “Yeah… I hope so.”

The radio turned off with a low tone as she depressed the power button. She left the trashed apartment and pulled back her handgun’s slider to inspect the barrel. Releasing it with a metallic click, she didn’t bother closing the door behind her. No one was around to care. She stepped out into the main hall and minded her footing. Debris that fell from above exposed a hole with dead wires and rebar in the floor, and water dripped from high above. It was her entry point to the flat five days ago and also her exit.

She lowered herself and hung off the ledge, letting go and dropping to the floor below. The ground creaked beneath her boots. “Oh please don’t do this…” Naoto took a deep breath and held it. She stayed there in a low squat, arms and feet spread out in hopes of dispersing her weight–if the logic of frozen water applied to weather worn floors. Okay, slowly, she thought.

The floor still creaked as she inched her way towards the wall, ready to grab onto a door in case the floor collapsed. The ground stopped protesting beneath her weight and she let out a breath of relief before continuing her shimmy against the wall. The pack brushed against the dusty plaster as she entered the emergency staircase, free of obstructions all the way to the bottom floor.

Abandoned civilian and military vehicles alike cluttered the streets outside. Not a person was in sight to inconvenience her as she navigated through the roads with the expertise of an explorer. Looking up and ahead, the dust cloud loomed as high as many of the buildings still standing. She pulled up her scarf to shield her nose, reaching the edge of the dust cloud. No way am I getting through that, she thought, taking a step back.

Turning around, her eyes shifted to the manhole cover just a few meters away. Squatting down and rubbing her hands together, she hoped and prayed this was one of the covers that didn’t weigh hundreds of pounds. Digging her fingers under the semi-exposed lid, Naoto lifted and pushed, muscles straining to move the dense cast iron. She grunted as she drove her shoulder forward, “Come on…”

It budged and scraped against the road as it moved enough to allow her entry. And for once she appreciated having such a lithe body. Naoto slipped through the crack and climbed down, pulling out a flashlight to illuminate the darkness below. Whether it was her exhaustion from moving the manhole cover, the dark, or a combination of both, Naoto didn’t hear the clinking of metal on metal behind her.

“You should have checked before hopping down.”

Naoto slowly turned and held up her hands, a cold sweat forming on her forehead. “I don’t want any trouble,” she said, “I’m just trying to make it to a friend at the other side.”

The man held up metal rod, tapping it against the sewer ladder. He didn’t seem too bothered by her, probably didn’t even notice the gun tucked into her pants. “Don’t want any trouble either,” he said, chewing the inside of his cheek, “Gimme your food. All of it.”

“Okay. You’ll get your food, but do you know a way to the other side?” Naoto asked, slowly shedding her backpack.

“Food first, answer after.”

She said nothing after that, unzipping the bag and scooping out the last of her food supply. Now I have to make it there today, Naoto thought. As much as she could have threatened or disabled the much older and slower man, she’d rather make it through the exchange with no harm done to either party.

His brows furrowed as he looked over the three items, “That’s it?”

“It’s all I’ve got, I swear,” said Naoto, “You can check yourself if you want.”

They stared each other down, a silence looming over them as he griped over the little food he just threatened a young woman to hand over. He chewed at the bottom of his lip, trembling. At that point Naoto knew he didn’t want to cause her any harm. Most people didn’t and she learned from that, took advantage of it to save herself some pain. Sometimes compliance was the best way and if she didn’t have to resort to violence, that was already on more night that she could rest easy.

He eventually snatched up the three food items and held it close, ignoring Naoto as she put her pack back on. The man’s face was softer now, more complacent as he pointed down the tunnel and said, “Keep going towards where the crevice showed up. It’s only as wide as a street block so you can probably choke through all the dust until you’ve climbed out.” He began to turn and take his leave, “Can’t see the other side, but a guy passed through saying he came from that way. Maybe you’ll see where he came from?”

“Thank you, and good luck out there,” said Naoto.

“No, thank _you_. My wife’s expecting and she’d appreciate this...” he lowered his head. Then he frowned, scratched at his head, and grumnled, “Fuck, I feel like shit for taking everything! Here, I’ll give back this...”

She pushed away his hand offering the bag of jerky back, “If she’s expecting, then keep it all. I’ll find a way to the other side and find my own food.”

“You’re... too kind.”

“Not everyone is. Be careful out there,” said Naoto with a parting nod. She pointed the flashlight down the spacious tunnel and started off in a jog, peering over her shoulder to see the man leaving in the opposite direction.

Sunlight eventually broke through the darkness as she pressed on, illuminating the plastic and organic waste that flowed freely out the sewer. It didn’t fall out in a small trickle, rather a steady current from the collected storm water built into the flood reservoir. Rats dodged her feet, squealing and skittering. Reaching the sewer’s edge, Naoto’s mouth widened at the view. She’d never been at the bottom of a crevice wrought from the tremors. Though it wasn’t as deep as some, it surely stretched for miles to her left and right, like a dried out riverbed.

Roads that caved and sloped dumped stray cars to the bottom of the ravine. Water already collected at the bottom as well. Naoto looked over the edge to see the sheer fifty foot drop with sharp slabs of concrete waiting to impale an unfortunate survivor. Still, beams and support pillars from the sewage system were in decent condition, enough to get her across the way as far as the eye could see.

If the crevice were really as wide as the man claimed, she had about two hundred meters distance before getting to Rise.

Like the guy said, it’d be a lot of climbing. And like he said, she’d have to choke down a lot of dust. Sunlight broke through the cloud, reflecting off the particles and scattering it like a thick fog, making it nearly impossible to see the other side. Much of it still floated around the higher levels, which made it particularly less deadly, but it didn’t rid Naoto of her problem in the slightest. She checked her watch and the hands read well past the time she should have contacted Rise, so she fished it out of the backpack and turned it on.

 _“Radio on. Battery level, medium. Channel, two.”_ the device said in a robotic tone.

Naoto held the radio up to her lips and held down the receiver, “Rise? You there?”

An nearly immediate reply come, clearer than when they spoke at the apartment complex– _“Naoto? Oh god, Naoto! I thought something happened! Are you okay?”_

“I’m fine. Just lost track of time,” she said, rubbing the back of her head.

– _“Geez, I was really getting worried,”_ Rise sighed, _“Did you… did you find a way over?”_

“Yeah, I think so.” Naoto paced back and forth, studying her path. She could only see presumably halfway. The rest she’d have to wing and hopefully luck would be on her side. “I’m in the sewers and looking at the ravine right now. It’s a bit of a climb out, but I’m sure I can make it.”

– _“You’re a pretty good climber so I’m sure you can. Do you know where you’ll end up? I could meet you?”_

“I don’t really know, but I’ll come to you. Do _not_ leave the building for anything alright?”

–“Got it. Keep your radio on this time please?”

Naoto smiled and let out an amused chuckle, “Alright. Just know I can’t really talk once I get moving.”

–“That’s fine. Just knowing you’re there is comforting enough,” said Rise, “Be careful? It’s possible whatever you’re climbing is slippery.”

Naoto tied her scarf securely around her face and made sure her boots were tied tightly, “I’ll be there before you know it. Wait for me.”

–“Alright,” said Rise lowly. Not the particular response Naoto was hoping for, but it’d do for now.

She clipped the radio to her chest this time and kept two pitons handy in her left cargo pocket. Naoto eased herself off the ledge and climbed down to the bottom level. The rock wall had many good footholds, but she kept three points of contact at all times for good measure. Loose concrete fell below, colliding with the ground with a loud thunk as the velocity reduced it to fractured pieces. Naoto considered herself lucky for loving heights so much or else this would be terrifying.

Her feet dangled into empty space and she looked down to see the last stretch of wall fell for another ten feet. She psyched herself up for the joint aching landing to come and let go. Feet collided with the ground and she let herself roll forward on her shoulder before ending back up on her feet. The safety roll dispersed most of the shock and she shook herself off, disgusted by the polluted water soaking her clothes now.

Several pillars lay broken, tilted, and crumbled with no roof to support. Exposed steel reinforcements looked like excellent foot and hand holds, but that meant nothing if it led nowhere. Naoto gagged again as she stepped in dark brown sludge, likely the same as what she just landed in. She scurried off to higher and dryer ground, trying to accustom her nose the scent of noxious gases and shit.

She took it as encouragement to get the hell out of the pit and took off with a running start. The pillar in front of her still had a beam connecting to the other supports. If she could run across safely, it’d save the trouble of trudging through the sludge and groping blindly for an exit. Her foot kicked against the pillar and propelled her body upwards.

“Shit!” Naoto hissed when her left hand slipped on the ledge.

Her right arm strained to support the rest of her bodyweight as she regained her grip and pulled herself up. Pressing the scarf closer to her nose as the dust settled around her, Naoto balanced herself across the beam, collected herself when she reached the other side, and continued on along.

Rubbing her stinging and watery eyes, Naoto peered down to see the fractured ground. A height-fearing individual would have grown dizzy and nauseous from being so high up. Images of heads being split open or the body being broken to bits as they collided with the ground plagued their minds. Not for Naoto. She just scurried across with the talent and instinct of a goddamn monkey, convinced she wouldn’t fall, convinced her body was invincible.

So convinced she decided to joke with Rise and said, “Hey Rise, if I fall can you at least fish out my body for me?”

–“I might join you if I even attempt to climb down there.”

“Well I wouldn’t want that. Better to just leave me here then.”

Naoto’s laugh came to an abrupt stop, interrupted by a hacking cough. She fell to her knees, grabbing onto the edges of the pillar. This time, she feared she might fall over and accept her fate as she hit the ground. Each cough wheezed in intermission and she clutched at her chest, waiting for it all to settle. It wouldn’t settle, it just wouldn’t. Her time in the dust was getting shorter. And more time was wasted on her knees.

–“You need to get out of there,” said Rise, her voice thick with worry.

“I know. I’m…” Naoto coughed again, “I’m working on it…”

Before Rise could muster another word she turned the radio off.

Naoto picked herself up and kept going, her vision hazier the thicker the air grew with the incline. She skidded to a stop when her path ended at the steep slope of what once was a road. Putting her hands on her head, Naoto paced back and forth, blinking through blood red eyes as she tried to find a way out. The asphalt and concrete were too smooth, too steep, to climb by hand and she had no equipment to scale it.

She pressed her hands against the pavement, walking along the length of the wall until her hand brushed against rougher material. Grabbing it, she felt the braided rope and gave it a good tug. It went taut without any give from the force exerted against it. Secure and climbable. Probably the way in the guy mentioned earlier.

Drying her hands to make sure no moisture would interfere with her climbing, Naoto cleared her throat and position her body in a perfect L. Step by step and one hand in front of the other, she climbed against the slope. She climbed blindly, engulfed in darkness to spare her the pain of trying to see through the dust. She didn’t _need_ to see when the only direction was up. Or down, but down meant she failed.

No matter what she did, the coughing wouldn’t cease and she grew weaker as the time passed. Opening her eyes to see how far she had left to go did little to help. The top was nowhere in sight.

Naoto coughed again and her hands slipped.

She let out a scream as she fell several feet before regaining her grip once more, arms absolutely fatigued as it supported her weight and her feet kicked and dangled, trying to find its position against the wall. She hissed, her hand rope burnt, stiff, and skinned to its second layer. Gloves would be next on the scavenging list.

The former detective took out a piton and drove it into the wall, hammering it in with the blunt end of her flashlight. Giving it a wiggle to test its security, Naoto hauled her body up the rope and set her foot on the piton. Though the dust slowly drained her of all her energy, Naoto let herself rest on the makeshift foothold long enough to regain her bearings.

She wiped her hands on her pants, regretting the sting it incited. It can’t be far, she thought as she positioned herself to climb again. Her arms and legs shook this time around. They burned, they ached, and they tore as she forced herself higher and higher because she was at the point of no return.

It was climb or die. It was either see Rise or leave her waiting for as long as she held onto the hope she was alive. And knowing Rise, she’d hang onto that hope as long as she lived. She couldn’t leave her like that... all alone. That sad gaze, so distant in their first year together in school, a victim of cruel or silent words at the hands of peers or fans–Naoto refused to let that kind of girl trickle back to the surface.

One arm in front of the other she heaved, her lungs like fire, taking in the dust in its fullest. Asthma, disease, slow and steady suffocation, if that was the price of being able to be with her again, she’d pay it.

Over and over again.

Naoto let out a vicious cry as her hand scraped a ledge and skin peeled from her knuckles. She fumbled to grab it, her rope burned hands pulsating with its warm contact. She hoisted herself up with the last of her strength, gasping for breath as she continued to crawl forward. Eventually the dust gave way to clear air and Naoto rolled to her back, chest rising and falling with each desperate gasp and wheeze for breath. Twisting open the canteen, Naoto just splashed her face with water, washing the dirt and dust out of her eyes. She pulled out her radio and turned it on open channel, “Rise I–”

A scream pierced through the frequency–“Naoto? Oh god, please hurry!”

“Rise?” Naoto scrambled to her feet, bursting into a fit of coughs as she ran past the corner. “Hang on, I’m coming!” She wheezed as her body worked overtime to supply her legs with oxygen and push the carbon out of her lungs.

Reaching the hotel building Rise should have been waiting in, Naoto saw no one. She spun on her heels, looked about frantically, and shouted, “Rise! Rise where are you?!” Though only seconds passed it felt like an eternity. Naoto started in one direction, only to hear the voice of the idol shout in the other. She spun around, darting for Rise’s voice.

Shadows played on the walls of a nearby building’s alleyway, the previously locked fencing bashed open. One woman and three men. Naoto drew her gun, bursting past the open gates and aiming her firearm at the nearest of the three assailants.  “Don’t. Touch her.” She growled.

“N–Naoto…” Rise said, her voice breaking.

The detective’s eyes flicked momentarily to Rise, shaken but unharmed. The former idol clutched at a little girl, no older than probably five years-old. One of the men had fresh scratches on his face with the smallest hints of blood oozing out. Two held blunt weapons, one a cleaver, and the fatness on their bones showed they had their fair share of food. This wasn’t a thievery.

They turned and froze, blood run cold by the shining barrel of the handgun. “H–Hey, what should we…” the nearest of the men paused as Naoto’s sights switched to him. He held up his hands and dropped his bat, “I… I don’t want to die. Please don’t shoot.”

“Get down on the ground if you don’t want to,” Naoto stepped forward.

“She thinks she’s some kind of cop,” the furthest of them laughed. He mocked her with a higher pitch voice that held little resemblance to her own, “Get down on the ground, oh I’m so scared!”

“Nah you idiot, she ain’t gonna shoot,” one of the others took a step forward as well. He waved his cleaver nonchalantly.

“You guys are fucking pricks... I ain’t getting caught up in this.” The first kept his hands up, getting down on his knees. He didn’t make any moves as Naoto closed the distance between them, “I don’t give a–” He hacked as her hand collided with the back of his neck, knocking him unconscious. His body fell to the ground with a loud thud, the landing hardly as soft as the movies made it seem.

They hesitated once Naoto switched her sights back to the remaining two, contemplating on escape.

Then her lungs inflamed. She tried to choke down the coughing, but vainly started hacking again.

The cleaver wielding assailant lunged for her, missing his initial swing for her throat, but connecting his fist into her side. The wind escaped her and aggravated her breathing. Her gun fell from her grasp, hitting the ground as their scuffle kicked the firearm away and towards the remaining man.

Naoto swallowed down the coughs as best as she could and twisted her body, slipping through his grasp. She drew her pocket knife, pressing down the button and releasing the automatic blade with a harsh recoil.

He screamed as she switched her grip and drove the three and a half inch blade deep into his abdomen twice for reassurance. She aimed for the abdominal aorta and grimaced at the faint sound of bile and blood spilling from the rupture. They had their chance to run, she thought. Her hand soaked with the steady trickle of blood through his shirt and she watched as he stumbled and fell.

Rise shouted from the sidelines. “He’s got the gun!”

“Shut up!” He shouted and pulled the trigger.

Rise dropped to her knees and covered her eyes, too afraid to witness the gore. Too afraid to see what would remain of her Naoto’s head after the bullet had done its damage.

But what followed just perplexed both the man and Rise.

Naoto just… laughed.

She laughed so giddily, so cynically that you’d think she was a child playing a prank. No gunshot rang out. Only the clicking of the gun as he vainly pulled the trigger. She held up her hands with a smug grin and said, “Oops. No ammo.”

I ran out a long time ago, she thought. But running out of ammunition didn’t stop the gun from being a viable weapon. People feared guns. From the moment they see one, they know more than anything to take caution since one trigger squeeze could end their life. But they didn’t necessarily have to know it was loaded to feel that fear. A fear so strong they’d drop to their knees or turn tail.

The first guy, he knew better and would get to live a longer life, as long as he never bothered them again. The second met death in mere seconds when his circulatory system went into collapse. This guy wouldn’t meet a wonderful end as well. She couldn’t risk these two following them home or harassing Rise any longer.

Naoto took advantage of his shock and picked up his friend’s cleaver. “Rise cover her eyes,” she said and rushed forward.

Rise turned away, shielding the girl in her arms from the scene the detective wrought out, even covering her ears. It ended quickly and with a hushed cry. And when they turned to see, Naoto had already covered the bodies with the jackets they wore. Only a few specks of blood stained the detective’s shirt and she bent over to pick up her gun, tossing the cleaver aside.

She approached Rise and the little girl, offering a hand in which Rise gladly accepted. Their skin touched and sparked. The pale blue eyes staring back at her were filled with warmth. And the embrace Naoto pulled her into comforted her, making her heart skip a beat for the first moments their bodies collided before settling into a steady beat. Naoto’s arms wrapped around Rise’s shoulders, trembling. She didn’t get angry, or chastise her for not staying inside.

Instead, her voice came as a soft, sincere whisper, “I’m so glad you’re safe…”

Rise just smiled and her hands snaked up and around Naoto’s back. “Thank you for coming in time…” she said, “I don’t know where I’d be without a friend like you.”

That stung, just a little. No, a lot actually. Naoto’s mouth pulled into a thin line and she bit the bottom of her lip. Then she forced herself to smile as she pulled away, “You have no need to thank me…” she distracted herself from the heartache before her. Eyes shifted to the little girl by their side, still staring wide-eyed at the draped bodies lying on the ground, “Who’s the girl?”

“This is Mai…” said Rise as she picked her up. The girl seemed to take a liking to the idol and clutched onto her pant leg tightly, staring at Naoto with the same frightful eyes she used to regard the dead bodies, “I’ll explain as we go? I don’t want to be around when the other guy turns up.”

“Yeah, that sounds fine,” said Naoto as she stepped towards the gate. Now that the adrenaline wore off, she clutched at her side and her steps weighed like lead. She limped as she trudged along, a grimace crossing her face as the pain grew.

“Here. Hang onto me.” Rise grabbed her arm and pulled it over her shoulder.

Naoto looked away, both ashamed by her injuries and embarrassed by their proximity, but grateful for it all the same. Supporting her and holding a kid? She was full of surprises.

At snail’s pace they headed towards the nearby mall. It’d been picked clean long ago and people hardly took interest in it nowadays unless they were taking shelter. With four spacious floors and plenty of rubble and scattered store items, navigating through it or finding anyone proved a daunting task.

Naoto and Rise gave a tilt of their heads towards the old man huddled around a fire at the mall entrance. The watchman people called him. He always hung around up front, banged on a bunch of pots and pans, screaming and shouting whenever he saw trouble. Any familiar face here they’d made their peace with, a silent understanding that if they left each other be there would be no trouble. Sometimes if passing riff raff came to cause trouble, they’d watch out for each other.

But right now no one batted an eye at the little girl with them–one person extra in their usual party of two. And while they’d usually climb to their spot, Naoto found herself too spent to climb anymore. They went up the escalators instead, crawling over the junk blocking the top. Rise scooped up the kid who hardly had the upper body strength to make the climb. A quick hop over the pile was like climbing a mountain for her.

This repeated until they reached the fourth floor. A gap divided their side from the rest of the mall’s patrons and Naoto cleared it with one leap. Rise clutched the child close and needed a running start to clear the gap. She tipped over, towards the open space that would send her plummeting two floors. Naoto reached for Rise’s outstretched hand and took hold of her wrist.

“I’ve got you,” she said, pulling her to safety. Her heart jumped inside her throat when Rise stumbled forward and she found their faces only inches apart. Being able to see so closely the color of Rise’s eyes would have been perfect, if it weren’t for the child squished between them. Naoto looked down at Mai, not sure what face to wear in order to make that fearful expression disappear. She just backed away and turned around, murmuring “Come on… we’re almost there.”

“Right…” Rise adjusted the girl in her arm.

The former coffee shop was just down the walkway, most tables, shelves, and chairs pushed out into the lobby beside the store. Wooden boards blocked the windows that looked into the shop, giving them the cover and privacy they had valued over the year.

Naoto grabbed the lanyard around her neck, fishing out the key to the security cage protecting the entrance of their little home. Metal rattled as she pulled it up and allowed Rise to duck under, rattling again when she pulled it down and secured the padlock once more. She sighed when she turned to see the kid had already taken the liberty of wandering around the shop. “What are you doing, Rise?”

“What am I doing? She lost her mom,” she replied, holding up the opaque plastic tarp that lined the front entrance. She velcroed it shut when they both stepped through, blocking out the minimal, but still pesky dust outside.

Looking left and right, spotting the girl looking out the cafe windows, Naoto whispered, “Actually lost or lost as in her mom died?”

“Just lost I hope,” Rise said, peering at the little girl as well, “She told me she’s been wandering around for five days now.”

“When the tremor happened.”

“Yeah…” Rise nodded, trying not to consider the fact the girl’s mother could have died during the collapse five days ago.

“Well did she tell you much? Where she’s from or anything?”

Rise crossed her arms and looked away, “I… No I didn’t.”

“Oh my god,” Naoto rubbed her face and whispered lowly, trying not to let the kid hear their conversation, “You need to make sure before you go scooping up random children!”

“Well I couldn’t just leave those creeps to do whatever they wanted to a little girl!” Rise hissed quietly, her hands clenched, “I thought you of all people would understand what it’s like to be without a mother!”

As soon as those words rolled off her tongue, Rise covered her mouth, looking over the hurt expression on Naoto’s countenance. Rule number one: never mention Naoto’s parents, especially her mother. I am such an idiot, Rise thought. She reached out and held Naoto’s hand with a firm grasp, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

Naoto exhaled slowly and placed her other hand over Rise’s before letting go. “No it’s okay,” she said, “I just don’t want this to cause us any trouble. That’s all.”

Rise smiled and said, “Maybe a little break in routine is what our lives need. Besides–”

“Don’t mess with Rise-san you scary person!” The little girl cried out, rushing past to hit Naoto in the shin.

“Ow, fuck!” Naoto cried out, kneeling down to clutch her shin. She gritted through her teeth and said, “I’m… not messing with her!”

The little girl stood between them, guarding Rise.

“Mai, that wasn’t very nice!” Rise placed her hands on the girl’s shoulders and spun her around, “Naoto’s my best friend. Don’t go hurting her when she saved us.”

“You guys weren’t fighting?” Mai peeked over her shoulder at Naoto, shame looming over her face.

“We were just having a conversation. She’d never hurt me,” Rise turned Mai back around and said, “Now apologize to her okay?”

“She really doesn’t need–” Naoto fell silent when Rise lifted her chin. Guess she didn’t want the kid thinking she’s hot shit compared to them. So she kept silent.

The girl fidgeted with her hands and rocked back and forth on her tiptoes and heels. She said looking off to the side, “I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted…” Naoto nodded, rising wearily to her feet.

“And you apologize too, Naoto,” said Rise.

“Why? I did nothing wrong!”

“For being so scary.”

That’s hardly my fault, thought Naoto. Still, she sighed and then grumbled, “I’m… sorry. For being so scary.”

“It’s okay…” the little girl said, wandering off and climbing into a chair.

She asked as she looked over the girl, trying to assess her condition, “Mai, when was the last time you ate?”

“I guess two days ago… I’m really hungry,” she clutched her stomach as she swung her legs back and forth. Her brows furrowed at the mere mention of food.

“Let’s get you something to eat then…” said Rise, more concerned about taking care of the girl now. She looked Naoto up and down, seeing her covered in a layer dirt and dust, “Naoto why don’t you shower? I’ll take care of her.”

Dropping her backpack on the ground, it landed with a small cloud of dust separating itself from the fabric. “Okay, I won’t argue with you there.” She started off to the back before Rise’s voice stopped her in her tracks once more.

“Naoto?”

She turned to see Rise’s smile, sending her world into vibrant colors. One in which the early evening sun could never hope to match. Naoto swallowed, “Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re home safe.” Rise said with absolute sincerity.

It melted her dead expression into a smile as well, “Thanks. It’s good to be back.”

Naoto opened the door and stepped into the remnants of the cafe’s kitchen. A small makeshift shower she created months ago sat in the corner. Sawed off rods made the frame and a plastic tarp, woven around the frame, created the shower walls. Two large barrels, their drinking water, sat on the other end with a tubed bag hanging off the edge.

She picked it up and read the white blocky letters that said, “Camp Shower, 5 Gallons/20 Liters” The bag was left from the the outdoor shower set they found in the sporting goods store, but they didn’t take the tent that came with it when Naoto’s crafty shower had so much more space. The former detective told herself so many times that if they had a generator and a few parts, they’d be able to create a pump that just ran straight to the barrel.

Twisting open the bag’s cap, Naoto filled it to full capacity and placed it on the hook inside the shower. Taking off her clothes came as a relief to her sun-baked body. In the mirror, she lifted her arm to see the grotesque black and blue bruise where their earlier assailant had punched her in the ribs. Giving it a poke, she gritted her teeth, hoping to god her ribs weren’t bruised or broken. That’d put a real dent in her climbing ability. Most of the government supply drops were high up and untouched loot even higher. And putting that task on Rise was something she’d be too unwilling to do.

Naoto stepped behind the shower curtain and turned the knob of the shower bag. Cool water trickled out of the tube and she held herself, shivering as the water cleaned the dirt off her body. Eventually she got past the cold and started scrubbing off the deeper grime. Like always, thoughts of missing warm showers were replaced with outright appreciation for what they had, what they worked for to make a comfortable life.

All the water washed into the kitchen drain and whatever water Naoto didn’t use, she poured back into the barrels. Although the cold water left her skin feeling thick, Naoto couldn’t help but feel refreshed nonetheless. She grabbed some cleaner clothes and tossed aside the dirty ones for them to take care of another time. And drying her hair as she stepped outside, she saw Rise sitting by the window. Mai had fallen into a deep sleep on the mattress situated in the corner.

The deep orange glow of the sunset washed into the room. It bathed the city before them and scattered into the thick plumes of dust still dotting the landscape. Naoto sat across from her and joined her in sightseeing. Through a force of habit, her eyes scanned the streets far below for threats, “It’s pretty.” She said.

“Makes you forget sometimes,” said Rise, eating a spoonful of unwarmed stew. She pushed another can towards Naoto, “Here, you must be pretty hungry after today.”

Naoto took the can gingerly in her hands, feeling the warmth of the aluminum. She really didn’t have to warm it up for me, Naoto thought, but she enjoyed the taste of warm stew over bitterly cold. Peeking up, past the lid, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Her mom… she might be headed to that refugee center. You know, the one across town?” Rise hugged her knees.

“That’s past the most dangerous part of town,” said Naoto, setting down the can of food. It was already empty. “Both thugs and dust.”

“I know…” Rise groaned and held a hand at her temples.

“There’s no possibility her mom can still be in the area?”

“Probably not. It’s been five days and Mai told me they agreed on meeting at the refugee center if they ever got separated,” said Rise, “But of course a kid’s not going to know which way to go.”

“Her mother must have really been counting on good people to find her child. She’s lucky that’s exactly what happened.” Naoto frowned. Meeting at the refugee center instead of sticking around to find their kid? How could a parent be so irresponsible? They might as well have slapped a sign on the little girl saying ‘free kid’.

“I’m so sorry, Naoto. I made us commit to something that ended up so dangerous.”

The guilt was so clear that it hurt Naoto to even look at Rise. Although it did end up being more trouble than they bargained for, she did the right thing saving the little girl. Knowing Rise, she’d only end up hating herself for abandoning someone in need, so Naoto was quick to reassure her, “It’s okay, we’ll get her there safe. Then we can come back, carry on as usual.”

“You sound so sure.” Rise’s lip tugged into an amused smile.

“I heard from a certain someone that they say confidence is more reassuring.” Naoto chuckled. The light outside turned slowly to darkness. The room dimmed and she turned to the cafe entrance, “Is everything secure?”

Rise nodded and turned on the lantern on top of the table, “Made sure to check.”

Standing up, Naoto stretched her arms as far as its soreness would allow, “Good. I think we can both do with some rest…” she paused when she reached her futon, sprawled out on the floor against Rise’s mattress. Naoto pointed at the child that had rolled off the bed some time ago, “She’s in my spot.”

“Well I’m not going to move her. What if she wakes up?” said Rise, lifting a brow.

Grumbling, Naoto snatched her pillow, something the girl neglected to use and wouldn’t miss. She began making way towards the bench. “Naoto, wait,” Rise called out from the corner. She stopped and looked back at Rise, “You’re hurt. Why don’t you use mine?”

“What about you?”

“It has plenty of room,” Rise’s cheeks flushed, “I don’t see why we can’t share.”

“O–Oh…” Naoto found herself thankful for the low light. “I mean, are you sure? I… uh, I wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience.”

“Yeah I don’t mind.” Rise said as she approached Naoto. She took the pillow from her hands, slowly, almost cautiously as though she’d somehow make the wrong move. Then she set it on the other side of the bed, laying down near the opposite edge.

Naoto lowered herself onto the mattress, repeating in her mind that this wasn’t a big deal. Her muscles relaxed when she felt the softness of an actual mattress sink under her–something she hadn’t felt in quite some time. And although they laid at opposite sides of the bed, Rise’s warmth overwhelmed her and soothed her aching body. She closed her eyes, hoping sleep would soon find her, but it wouldn’t. Not when she heard Rise turn over and ask, “When are you leaving?”

“Most likely in a few days…” Naoto didn’t budge from her position. She didn’t want to see how close or how far Rise rested from her. She didn’t want to experience the haziness of her eyes staring back at her.

“You sure she can wait that long?”

“She’ll have to. We’ll need to rest. We’ll also need to plan and prepare.”

“We?”

“I mean… If you want to come that is. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I could use the help.”

“I keep asking to come along so what’s changed your mind?”

“I don’t know…” she said, tracing the branches of the tree painted on the cafe walls. Although a completely different shape compared to the roads of the city, the branches were just the same. Twisting paths that led to a different end each time. “Maybe if I’m going to be away from home, I’d rather have you with me?”

“Good. It’d be pretty lonely over here.”

“I’ll need someone to watch my back too.”

“Yeah, there is that,” Rise shifted in her spot.

After some silence, Naoto turned around to see Rise tracing circles on the the bedsheet. She stared at the movements of her finger. “So… you mind telling me why you didn’t step in earlier? It’s not like you to play the damsel-in-distress.”

Rise rolled her eyes, “Oh, you know. I didn’t want to steal your thunder Miss Detective.” She deepened her voice as she said, “Get down on the ground! Ooh, such a badass.”

Naoto pushed her shoulder playfully, her fingertips brushing against soft, but damaged hair, “Be quiet… just old habits that don’t seem to die.”

“I know. Just like how I haven’t given up singing, even if no one’s around to listen.”

“I listen all the time. You haven’t lost your touch, Rise.” Naoto said gently, quietly. So gently that she worried her feelings may have slipped through. Her body froze when Rise pushed herself up on her elbow, flustered and red.

“Uh… I… Oh. I had no idea you were listening all those times,” said Rise, looking down.

Naoto relaxed when she heard nothing in Rise’s voice to worry about. “It’s um, it’s a small cafe... You don’t need to be embarrassed or anything,”

But she was embarrassed. Rise sat up, hands on her crossed ankles, “Well, you know what you do in your sleep at night?”

“Uh, what?”

“You whimper like a kicked dog and twitch a lot,” She said under her breath, “Sometimes I worry you’re having a seizure in your sleep or something.”

“Really now?” Naoto tilted her head. She never really had nightmares. Sure, they came and went, but that was common. Nothing she could think of could have been a plausible explanation for Rise’s claim

Rise made no denials though and had a few theories at hand. Some that made sense, others not so much. They spoke far into the night, and quietly so the child on the futon wouldn’t wake up. For the first time in the year since the event, it felt like they were back to their carefree first-year days. Like teenagers speaking under lamp light and reminiscing about what used to be. Only this time, what used to be was a life of mundane routines rather than childhood stories.

As Rise spoke, Naoto couldn’t help but trace her eyes over Rise’s features, somewhat blemished by dirt, but otherwise kempt and beautiful, exceeding the present day’s standards. And every so often, her eyes fell down, down to her lips as she spoke with such life that she’d so viciously protect in the harsh days to come.

  



End file.
